I felt like a stranger on my own wedding day. Joe and his mother had insisted on taking care of everything, occasionally calling my mum for a few ideas. From the theme to the decor to the food, even the cake was decided upon by my mother in law. She had some standard to uphold and was not leaving anything to chance.
My wedding gown was delivered to my house a day to the wedding, she had asked me what kind of gown i wanted. I should have stood my ground and planned my own wedding but i was too tired. Between the fights with Joe on what was best for us and the morning sickness, i just turned a blind eye and let her run the show. The gown wasn’t exactly what i had wanted but it was beautiful, not to mention expensive.
The cake had been ordered from the most exclusive baker in town, a 7 tier wedding with edible rose flowers. It was too beautiful. Despite how i felt and the sinking feeling in my stomach, everything else turned out beautiful. The chapel was decorated with rose flowers and lilies. A red carpet ran from the entrance to the front of the church with roses spread on it. A few rich people sat on side while my family and colleagues sat on the other side. A big arch filled with fresh flowers stood in the middle of the church where Joe and my parents met, it was an invites only affair, too elite for my liking. It was a short ceremony and in a few minutes, the guests were dancing and eating, holding flutes with borrowed etiquette and sipping juice with exaggerated sophistication.
It all went by in a blur, everything was happening too fast. I was now a married woman who had no idea how she had found herself here. My mother stayed by my side all the while worry in her eyes but masked with a smile.
That night, in our wedding suite, we had the biggest fight yet. It is like the anger and frustrations had been boiling and simmering and now the emotions were over flowing. Joe came out of the bathroom with a dashing smile and took my ringed hand in his,
”We did it babe.”
”Yeah, we finally got married, i love you Joe.”
”I love you too.”
He walked to the massive window overlooking the city then turned to look at me.
”I have been thinking.”
”Us, now that we are married, you should quit that job of yours.”
”I will take care of you, i am your husband.”
”what will i do at home?”
”Mum said we should move back home so that she can look after you and the baby.”
”Babe, i appreciate the offer but it is a no.”
”One, i am not quitting my job and i can take care of myself.”
”This is not up for discussion.”
”Since when do you make decisions for me?”
”Since we got married, this discussion is over.”
I felt it all come to the surface, the emotions i had been shelving, the anger that had been building up. They were treating me like i had no mind of my own.
”Listen to me Joe, you might be my husband but you don’t make decisions for me.”
”It is in your best interest.”
”No, it is in your best interest, so that you can control me.”
”Are we really doing this? On our wedding night?”
”Yes, we are doing it right now. I saw how you planned the whole wedding, making decisions for me, my opinions didn’t even matter. What you and your mother wanted was what mattered.”
He was equally getting worked up, i could see the veins on his face bulge and his heart race, he curled his hands into fists and it enraged me even more.
”What are you gonna do, Joe? Hit me?”
He moved too fast to where i was standing and raised his hand but stopped mid way. He took a step back and looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time.
”Go on Joe, beat the hell out of me like you always do.”
He shook his head and walked to the lobby with the bottle of champagne that the hotel had given us.
Shaking with rage and a mixture of emotions, i curled up in bed and drift to sleep……