Spear in the heart Part 2

I am woken up by noise from my door “Knock, knock, Mom open for me, Mom I want to pee in your bathroom, Moooooooom open pleeeeeeaaaase!”

“Is it morning already?” I ask myself before opening the door.

“Moooooooom opeeeeen”

“Darren wait Baba, just a minute baby I am coming”

Oh God! It is 7:30PM! I clear my room quickly as I hide the wine bottle, I brush my teeth because the first thing this boy does is hug me and chum chum on my face, ears, hair, waaaa! A real Mama’s boy. I am a bit sober, I open the door and let my only son in.

“Mom I want water”

“Aaiih! My fren si umetoka chini?”

“Yes, but I want you to give me water”

Mothers will understand this scenario. So no one could give this lil man water apart from me? Anyway, this only means I have to go to the kitchen and get water for “Mr. Kingston”. Of course he follows me.

“Mum please give me your phone, I want to play a game”

“My phone has no battery”

“It has, I have it and its not off yet”

“Poela!”

“What’s that?”

“Nothing, okay use it but don’t take too long, don’t delete my documents”

I get him water, In the kitchen I meet Myra preparing dinner while Dela is in the sitting room watching  TV. I proceed to the sitting room to join my daughter.

“Hey baby”

“Hey Mum”

“Daddy is not home yet?”

“He said he was going to see uncle Sam and drove off”

“Ooh! Okay!”

My daughter is that calm baby of the house, but very curious and inquisitive as well. Sometimes we even have talks as if we are sisters, kids of today huh? She comes close to me and asks if I want to watch another channel. I tell her it is okay, she can enjoy her program. She comes closer and starts to play with my hair as though it was a mess, she combs it nicely and she asks….

“Mom, are you okay?”

“Yes honey, why?”

“You don’t look okay, did Daddy offend you? Please forgive him. Pastor Ken said today that if someone does wrong to you, forgive them”.

“I know baby, but I am fine, Daddy is a great person he has not wronged me in any way”

Painting my husband as a bad person to my children is the last thing I can ever do. I mean, he has his faults, but he is a great dad to my babies, even if I was to leave this house today, he wont let me go with his kids. Ben is a good Father, reason why I have always fallen in love with him every day of my 8 years since I met him.

“Okay Mom, but remember to  buy me the skate shoes you promised me”.

“Deal”.

Food is ready, my daughter’s favourite, rice with french beans. I eat with my children but I am not at peace. My heart is pumping as though I was Kipchoge after INEOS 1:59. No appetite but my children can not eat if I am not eating, so I have to force myself. Mothers, you know what I mean?

Myra asks if I need anything, I say no, she goes to her bedroom. I am here with my babies, the reason why I am alive, my whole world revolves around them, I don’t want to disappoint them, I don’t want them to suffer for their father’s mistakes. I am scared I might loose my family, my happiness because of TRM and Ben. God please help me, give me strength to walk this rough path. I need wisdom to work on this. But God Why? Why me? I am not ready to be a single mother because I am not as that strong, my children and my husband can’t be separated. Why me God?

Anyway, We are done with dinner, I clear the table and take my kids to bed. As usual Darren sleeps in my bed before I carry him to his bedroom. This is my Boy!

I go to the balcony  to have a talk with the stars and the moon, I have so many questions. Should I call his mother? No way, she will take his side. My husband happens to be the last born and just like Darren, he is his Mama’s boy. I wont risk.  This is my marriage, I have to solve this, but still I need to talk to someone.

I rush to the girls whatsapp group called “My Mother’s Girls”. I type…

“Hey girls, are you asleep?”

Marble: Hey girl, what’s up? You good?

Me: “Yep, just something is eating my head up”

Rose: “Hey girl, you have been silent the whole day kwani umezaa? Hehehe”.

Me: “Idiot, nimezaa maembe?”

Clare: “Ladies I feel like going out! Baba Prince is in Naivasha na he is not coming back, I am bored like shit”

Marble: “Wee kwani hauna malazi? My fren lalisha haga”

Me: “Hahahaha Marble thank you….. but I think Clare is right, where is Jacqiy our designated chauffeur?  Trust me I don’t want to drive right now, I want to drink and dance”

Rose: “Eeeeih Mrs. Benito come slowly, are you still pregnant?”

Me: “Sharaaaaap woman, just come pick me, nipate kwa gate”

Marble: “ I was with Jacqiy in church and she said she was to fly to Mombasa because hubby is already there, so I am not sure she is around”

Me: “Waaaa, ebu tell her to come online”

Clare: “Yaaaaaaaaaay let me shower asap, see you girls. I hope we are going to Laico”

Me: “Burrofcos”

Marble: Hehehee enyewe mumeboeka, sorry girls I won’t make it, Bae is around.

Rose: “Okay Doreen, in a few, Marble you are joking, see you”

Jacqiy: “Basie kuyoka kwa si?” (What is the noise for?)

Me: “Hey bestie, we are going out and you can’t say no because you are in the country. See you there, Laico Regency. Keep time.

Jacqiy: “Waaa baby girl, I am in bed, already in my PJ’s”

Me: “Do we look like we care? Woman, see you at Laico, hiyo ingine ni yako”

Jacqiy and Marble insist that they wont come, but I burst the bubble

“Ladies, Ben is having an affair, and maybe, just maybe, he has a son with this bitch”

Jacqiy: “What? Baby are you okay? Leaving the house in a few, see you baby girl”

Rose: “Oooh Noo! Not Ben! Girl you need a drink, a strong one”

Clare: “What the Eff? Are you serious? How did you find out?”

Me: “His phone”

Marble: “Now this is serious, I am coming, hata sitaoga, wacha tu nicome”

Rose: “Girls, let’s not go to Laico tonight, lets go to Dee’s house, she needs us”

They all agree to come over. These girls are like my sisters, we laugh and cry together. When I met my husband they interviewed him, funny right? Yes, they asked him so many questions and gave him warnings not to hurt me because I am their last born, they call me “Baby of the Group” I love them so much.

Rose came in first because she stays near. I am at the balcony still, crying my heart out with a glass of wine and a packet of serviettes. She walks in and starts to look for me, “I am here, kwa balcony yangu”.

She sees me, hugs me tight, by now I am literally sobbing, my eyes are red, mucus coming out, I let out a big cry as she tries to cover my mouth with her hand, “Babes the kids’ bedrooms are just here, sorry girl”. I walk to the other side of the balcony. Rose is watching me as tears roll down her cheeks too. This one helps in crying. Instead of her being strong for you, pia analia.

My three girls walk in together, Rose texts them that we are upstairs. They all hug me while asking so many questions at ago.

“He cheated on me, and maybe he is with her right now. See, it’s 10PM and son of a woman is not here yet. See, she is in his arms right now, I hate him, so much”

“Noo, don’t say that dear, maybe he is out with friends”.

“Did you ask him about this?

“No, why would I? I will only feel stupid in his eyes and of course he will deny, you know men”.

“No no no you should have asked him” insists Marble.

“True baby” Jacqiy adds.

“I am tired, I am really tired, I WANT OUT!”

“Mmmh Nooooo we ain’t going there, no you are not” says clare.

The girls discourage me from moving out. “Are you people even my friends? Nkt! I am leaving!”

From the Balcony we can see his car comes in the gate, Ben parks his car but doesn’t come out, maybe because he can see my friend’s vehicles and he knows Kamati are ready to eat his sorry ass. 30 minutes are gone but boychild ain’t coming out of his damn car.

Marble, who keeps defending him goes to the car, they have a chat then boom! Mr. Man is out, drunk! We are all at the sitting room waiting as though he was a locust awaited by the government. He says hi and asks to speak to me, in private!

“No, if you want to speak to me do it right here”

“Babe please”

“Again, don’t babe me, I am not Madam TRM, the Newest bride in town, madam boss herself! The best thing that ever happened to you, Mrs. World Kenya, the only “sweet” woman that has ever ‘gone down’ on you, because maybe your pathetic black wife here only does missionary!” I am tossing my glass of wine as I walk around my sitting roon throwing words at Ben. “I hope while dickmatizing her, you use protection because I am not ready to die of HIV. Trust me that woman is not screwing only you, she looks like a hoe who just wants financial support from already established men, and baby boy, you are just one of them”

The shock on my hubby’s face!!!! Wueh! Guilty as charged! Boy is confused, his eyes turn around like a lizard, his hand that was almost holding mine starts to shake, his lips tremble in fear. I can see my husband reduced to a 5 year old boy, he can’t even look me in the eyes and say it’s not true. He wishes he never came home, in front of my besties, what a shame!!

“If you don’t tell me who that bitch is, boy, I gat your balls in my hand and I’m gonna squeeze them right now”

Rose: “Ladies, can we go to the kitchen please, I need coffee”

Jacqiy : “Yep, I am not ready to see balls being squeezed”

Marble and Clare too agree, and they leave for the kitchen.

“Dee don’t kill him ooh!” shouts Marble. I have a bunch of idiots for friends right?

“Now, can you talk?”

Hubby: “In our bedroom”

He leaves, I follow him. My mind is racing, should I just pack and leave this idiot of a man or what?

We are in the bedroom.

“Babe I can explain”

“Explain what? Ben”

“That girl is not what you think she is”

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“She is not my girlfriend”

“Oh, she graduated to be your Baby Mama, donge?”

“The hell”

“Ooh right, there will be hell in this room if you don’t explain your damn ass, Ben don’t waste my time baby boy, I need a drink.

Talk!”

“Babe, it is not what you think, she is just a friend”

“There we go again, bla bla bla! Don’t give that BS, just tell me, I am ready to hear everything, or you want me to wake your kids up to see the kind of bullshit their father has become? Oh Yeah I can bring them uwaambie venye wewe ni jogoo, unawika nyumbani, unawika nje”

“Don’t you include my children in this…… that girl is just a friend, and No, her child is not mine.”

By now I am boiling, what the hell! This man thinks I was born yesterday or what? What kind of nonsense is this? I am not doing this.

“Look Ben, I won’t waste your time here, let’s talk when you are ready”.  I leave

Opening my bedroom door, I hear people running downstairs, okay, wait! Where did I meet these cartoons and became their friend? I also don’t know! So they had been listening to our conversations? What if my hubby made me “weak” they could have heard us “doing it?” Lol!

Reaching the kitchen, Clare, as usual eating an apple. Starts with the question.

“Tell us, what did he say”

“Why are you asking and you heard everything?”

“Aaaih who? We were here in the kitchen, hata hatujaskia anything” they say in unison.

Marble: “Why didn’t you listen to him, at least he said she is just a friend, daaah!”

“How did you know he said that?”

Marble: “I guessed, that’s what every man says, right girls”

“Yeeaah” they agreed.

Rose: “That man needs some beating, lakini hata wewe, unataka kuamsha watoto juu ya?”

“Again, how did you know that? Nkt! Nitawafukuza muende kwenu”

“Oohhn Nooo unleash the tea girl, we are listening” Jacqiy reiterated.

I explained to them even though I knew they had heard everything.

We talked about life our children, our ups and downs in our marriages, businesses, school, chamas, finances etc, how to deal with the Makodofias in our husband’s lives etc. Then boom! Ben comes in the kitchen to get his beer from the fridge.

Marble: “But Ben you are a good man, why did you do it? You even have a kid with him?”

Hubby: “ I don’t have child with any other woman other than my wife, but she doesn’t want to listen to me, what should I do?”

Me: “Fuck you”

Hubby: “You see the way she talks to me? In front of you ladies?”

Me: “Damn you! I don’t care. The moment you undressed in front of another woman, I have no respect for you buddy.”

Hubby: “Okay, can I call her right now so you believe me?”

Women, when a man dares you with this, he always know that you will refuse to call his bitch. So, my sister, play to his tune, say Yes!

Me: “Yes!”

Hubby: “What?”

Me: “Your words, not mine, call your baby mama right now.”

Hubby: “Babe are you sure? It’s late. And she is not my baby mama”

Girls: “Yes, call her”

Father to my children could not escape this, I had cornered him already. He is taking time though, so I do the necessary, I pick his phone which was at the dining, charging and dial her number, “Calling TRM”. I put the call on Loud Speaker, the girls are alert, the adrenaline? The headache? My hands are sweating, My stomach is rumbling, I think I need to use the washroom but no, I can do number 2 right here right now, this is my house, I will clean the mess, Dah! Hubby is pretending to be okay but I know deep down he is shaking like a leaf. Pressure ikanipanda aki, call goes unanswered. Daaaaamn!!!

Clare insists that we call again, hubby is reluctant and says, “I told you that is someone’s wife and they are asleep, mnawasumbua tu”.

I give him that sharp look, I dial the number again…….

She picks the call!

Doreen Shikuku